Don’t Let Your Estate Plan Be a Surprise: Why Talking to Your Family Matters
Many people carefully draft wills and trusts but never discuss them with their loved ones. However, silence can create confusion, resentment, and even litigation. A well-drafted estate plan is only half the job, communication is the other half.
Reasons people don’t want to talk about it
You may be concerned that this discussion may cause tension between your loved ones. Alternatively, you may feel its none of their business. However, a temporary discomfort now is far less costly than litigation later.
Legal clarity vs. emotional expectations
Your family may have expectations about who inherits what. Candid discussions about your wishes can help avoid surprise and, possibly, even litigation. This is particularly true if your plan doesn’t leave equal distributions to your children or intentionally disinherits a child completely. The surprise of a disinheritance can lead to a contest of a will or trust on the basis of lack of capacity or undue influence.
Open communication can defuse these arguments before they begin
In many instances, it may be appropriate to explain why you have structured the distributions in a particular manner or nominated one child over the other to serve as your fiduciary. Another common issue pertains to funeral instructions. It’s generally important to discuss your burial or cremation preferences.
Advantages of communication
Discussing the plan with your family can help eliminate speculation and mistrust. In addition, it allows concerns to be addressed while you are alive. The person you appoint (often a child) won’t be blindsided and can reduce accusations that the fiduciary “manipulated” you.
Tips about having this conversation
You need to consider choosing the right setting. In other words, it should occur in a private, calm environment where all family members are present rather than dealing with it in a “piecemeal fashion”. You should set expectations by making it clear this is your decision and emphasize the thoughtfulness and planning involved. Remember that an estate plan is not intended to punish or control.
The bottom line. Don’t assume silence will keep the peace. A well crafted estate plan protects your assets and communication protects your family.
